Special People

Everyday that you meet someone new
You act like they mean nothing to you
But that's not true.

You see new faces, you see new lives
Somehow they'll change you a lil bit inside
Sometimes.

~chorus:
And it's not the ones who come
And it's not the ones who go
It's the ones you remember
The ones that teach you something
And make you wanna write a song
The ones that hold you together.
That make you laugh til you wanna cry
That let you cry til it's all alright
They're special people, you know
And I'm so lucky to have met y'all.

And you tend to cross my mind
Every cold and lonely night
Guess I talk about you all the time.

Now I'm gonna need a new subject
To end this infinite nightmare
But I wouldn't take any of it back.

~chorus:
And it's not the ones who come
And it's not the ones who go
It's the ones you remember
The ones that teach you something
And make you wanna write a song
The ones that hold you together.
That make you laugh til you wanna cry
That let you cry til it's all alright
They're special people, you know
And I'm so lucky to have y'all.

~bridge:
And I'll miss the one who gets what I do
And the one who held me though she didn't really have to
I'mma miss the piano days
And the jokes that made no sense
I'mma miss the dancing and the singing
I'mma miss the hugging and the dreaming
Some I'll miss for the way they talked
Some for the way they didn't
Some for drawing on the air like their fingers were chalk
Some I'll miss just every minute.

~chorus:
And it's not the ones who come
And it's not the ones who go
It's the ones you remember
The ones that teach you something
And make you wanna write a song
The ones that hold you together.
That make you laugh til you wanna cry
That let you cry til it's all alright
They're special people, you know
And I'm really gonna miss y'all.

Elogie

Não colecione elogios
Aproveite-os.
Não viva como se eles fossem uma parte de você
Deixe que sejam sempre uma agradável surpresa
Diga "obrigado".
Elogie também
Tente elogiar pelo menos uma pessoa todos os dias
Não colecione os sorrisos
Aproveite-os.
Diga "não há de quê".
Sorria.
Não se menospreze a ponto de recusar elogios
Não se exalte a ponto de ignorá-los
Se alguém se deu ao trabalho de elogiar seu trabalho
Ou suas roupas
Ou tudo o que você é
Agradeça. Não é complicado.
É uma troca de gentilezas inocente
Com o poder transformar completamente o dia de alguém.
Para melhor?
Isso depende de você.

This Ain't Right

Passei meses pensando se ia postar essa ou não.

I watched you from a distance
I watched you grow a beard, I watched every minute
And all those people holding you in the pictures
I wasn't right next to them
I was fifteen miles away.

~chorus:
There are tears all over this page
I'm sorry about them
I'm sorry I can't be strong enough
To fully understand.
But I'm trying
I'm doing what I can
But this ain't right, this ain't right...

I see the cigarette smoke
I watch the fog pass
And all those city lights
I hope they'll last
Long enough for us
To see them for real
It's not cheap happiness
And we can't pay the bills.

~chorus:
There are tears all over this page
I'm sorry about them
I'm sorry I can't be strong enough
To fully understand.
But I'm trying
I'm doing what I can
But this ain't right, this ain't right...

~bridge:
Forgive me, world
For I won't grow
I don't wanna leave
My safety zone
I don't wanna be told
What I have to do
I don't wanna shut up
But I can't lose you.

~outro:
Light a match
Light a candle
Don't make a sound.
What is the way out of this little hell?

I Do

I've been talking to you for about half an hour
We've gone through Europe, books and dream power
You mention the clock and we're back in reality
We say goodbye with a couple of formalities.

I looked at you and we connected
God, ain't many things that really affect me
Guess sometimes you find something worthwhile
And it sets you free like an ended war pow.

~chorus:
But hey, I could talk to you all day
Steal your food and hope it rains
'Cause it wouldn't even matter
I wanna hear what you've got to say
About the future and aliens
Make my day better
Yeah, not the worst way of spending my afternoon
But that don't mean I like you.

I don't wanna sit on the cool kids' table anymore
I found out I'm the only one keeping score
Maybe it's because I hardly let anyone see inside
But I can't get you out of my mind.

Life's a rollercoaster sometimes
But mostly it's more of a carroussel ride
Feeling mindly stuck in a one-horse town
It makes you enjoy the ups and downs.

~chorus:
But hey, I could talk to you all day
Steal your food and hope it rains
'Cause it wouldn't even matter
I wanna hear what you've got to say
About the future and aliens
Make my day better
Yeah, not the worst way of spending my afternoon
But that don't mean I like you.

~bridge:
It's so easier to destroy than to create
So easier to surround yourself with hate
When your head is so programmed for vocational training
That you can barely see the bigger painting.

~chorus:
But hey, I could talk to you all day
Steal your food and hope it rains
'Cause it wouldn't even matter
I wanna hear what you've got to say
About the future and aliens
Make my day better
Yeah, not the worst way of spending my afternoon
That don't mean I necessarily like you
But I do.

Leapers

We go alone
Don't know where we're leading
We try so hard
But always end up leaping.

I know... I know...
We're good people after all
I'll go... I'll go...
If you think it's the best for us.

Oh... ooh... oh...

~chorus:
But if we give up now
There's no going back
'Cause for leapers
It's hard to attach
When there's no one around
To tell if it's real or if it's just on my mind...
We try so hard
But we always end up leaping, always end up leaping.

So tell me
Where do we go from here
'Cause when you're in the edge
There're no further seas.

My heart is racing
I feel the adrenaline
No starting over
We're going down again.

~chorus:
But if we give up now
There's no going back
'Cause for leapers
It's hard to attach
When there's no one around
To tell if it's real or if it's just on my mind...
We try so hard
But we always end up leaping, always end up leaping.

~bridge:
And if there's nothing ahead
Is it wrong to think twice?
Back right where we started
Right where it starts.
Can I change my mind?
And quickly press rewind
Maybe see where it ends
Just once in my life.

~chorus:
But if we give up now
There's no going back
'Cause for leapers
It's hard to attach
When there's no one around
To tell if it's real or if it's just on my mind...
We try so hard
But we always end up leaping, always end up leaping.

~outro:
And that's the best part.

Run (based on Maze Runner)

They told you not to
You did it anyway
And you'd do it all again.

They told you stop
You did not
And you haven't regreted it yet
Think you can solve this whole mess.

Now it's time
Going inside was the easy part
But if you want to live
There's a simple command you cannot skip

~chorus:
Run
Even when you think you can barely walk
Climb
When you feel like there's no point in running anymore
Don't give up
Show them what you were made for, show them what to be scared of
Never stop running, keep on going, keep on running, keep on running.

It's dark inside
Hear a noise behind you
They're coming for you.

You're on your own
Convinced yourself you're bold
You hope you're right, otherwise
It will cost your life.

~chorus:
Run
Even when you think you can barely walk
Climb
When you feel like there's no point in running anymore
Don't give up
Show them what you were made for, show them what to be scared of
Never stop running, keep on going, keep on running, keep on running.

~bridge:
The sky has turned black
The sun can't save you now
You calculate every step
They'll hear it if you breathe too loud
You know you're bleeding but you don't know where
You know you can but you don't know why
They keep telling you it's suicide
But you feel alive.

~outro:
They told you not to
Now wait for the sun
Hope I see you when the morning comes.

The Wall (The Same) - feat. Matheus Pareschi

You appear to me
Like we never supposed to be.
It's like I can never be free
Your atmosphere gives me no choice but to flee.

Has the wall between us disappeared
Or has it become an abism?
These questions are bothering me
Please answer it.

~chorus:
You make me feel like I'm the broken one
Even though I had nothing to lose or prove to you or anyone
And maybe I'll leave the walls as they are
But maybe I'm a little tired of being the fox in disguise.

And there's so much to be said
That we don't want to say
I'll let you do the chit chat
We were never the ones who play.

We don't wanna play the game
So the silence remains.
We act like it haven't happened before
But there's always something more.

~chorus:
You make me feel like I'm the broken one
Even though I had nothing to lose or prove to you or anyone
And maybe I'll leave the walls as they are
But maybe I'm a little tired of being the fox in disguise.
And maybe you like
The same songs I like
But the soundtrack will never be the same after
And your laugh can be funny as hell
But it don't work as well
After the wall.

~bridge:
And you got me, got me for quite a while
My world revolved around your smile
I don't know if you're still that boy
But I'm not that girl, you can be sure.
When you said those words
In the party, like we ain't existed before
This is a two-way road
I don't know if you are the same as before.

~chorus:
You make me feel like I'm the broken one
Even though I had nothing to lose or prove to you or anyone
And maybe I'll leave the walls as they are
But maybe I'm a little tired of being the fox in disguise.
And maybe you like
The same songs I like
But the soundtrack will never be the same after
And your laugh can be funny as hell
But it don't work as well
After the wall.

Berlin Wall (All You Get Is A Song)

Just in case you don't know what you're getting into
I wanna make it clear, make it simple for you
I'm not jealous, but I'm also not careless
If you could just listen, I'm sure it will work better.

~chorus:
I'm not the big gestures kind
Won't expect them from you
Just be true and it will be all fine
Don't hold your breath waiting for "I love you"s
I'll let you in when I feel sure
Hope you understand that it's not your fault
Don't destroy the Berlin wall
Before it's ready to fall.

I'll appreciate the flowers and stuff
You should know peonies are my favourites
But seriously, it's not that tough
To understand that getting girls with gifts is not so accurate.

~chorus:
I'm not the big gestures kind
Won't expect them from you
Just be true and it will be all fine
Don't hold your breath waiting for "I love you"s
I'll let you in when I feel sure
Hope you understand that it's not your fault
Don't destroy the Berlin wall
Before it's ready to fall.

~bridge:
In case you're wondering why you should stay
And no answer comes to your head
Don't hesitate
Go ahead.
But I feel like there may be something here
That could lead to a story much bigger than this
I'm a unusual girl that's like all the others
Except for the old books and for dreaming in colours
And even if we ever become that strong
All you get is a song.

~chorus:
I'm not the big gestures kind
Won't expect them from you
Just be true and it will be all fine
Don't hold your breath waiting for "I love you"s
I'll let you in when I feel sure
You should understand that it's not your fault
I hope when I destroy the Berlin wall for good
You won't have someone else waiting on you.

I Notice Everything

Daquelas que você começa a cantar no banho dois meses depois e percebe que esqueceu de postar.

Something about, something about the way
I wanna remember every word you say
Something about the fire in your eyes
Burning bright, like two stars in the night sky of the country side...

~pre-chorus:
Oh, a beautiful memory
Couldn't forget you for an entire week
Oh, the need to write a song
About the passion in your voice...

~chorus:
I am the kind that writes stories
You've got stories written about you...
I live in a world of silent "sorry"s
You're full of loud "I forgive you"s
So I watch you stare
And pretend not to react
Hoping you won't see
How I notice everything.

You were the one from the first page
Never waited for an epilogue
I don't really like to write an end
But I can't deny that it would be heroic.

I do feel that this is odd
How many people have had this thought?
I'm aware that I'll never know
But I'm enchanted to meet you.

~pre-chorus:
Oh, a beautiful memory
Couldn't forget you for an entire week
Oh, the need to write a song
About the passion in your voice...

~chorus:
I am the kind that writes stories
You've got stories written about you...
I live in a world of silent "sorry"s
You're full of loud "I forgive you"s
So I watch you stare
And pretend not to react
Hoping you won't see
How I notice everything.

~bridge:
My throat closed, I let go
You just smiled, I wonder if you know
How lucky you really are
For not having to keep all this stuff
Inside
And it makes me mad, before and after class
I wanna rewrite it all
And though I can't, I should not forget
That everything I could possibly see, I saw
There're no lies anymore
There's just light and a lot of soul...
I hope you know...

~chorus:
I am the kind that writes stories
You've got stories written about you...
I live in a world of silent "sorry"s
You're full of loud "I forgive you"s
So I watch you stare
And pretend not to react
Hoping you won't see
How I notice everything.
I notice everything...
I notice everything, everything, everything...

~outro:
So I stare back
You take a step
You'll never believe
How I notice everything.

Germany

You hold your huge gun
As I grab some sticks and stones
I'm just waiting for the sun to come
'Cause I know all my will is gone.

You know what to say to ruin a place
That was supposed to be good, supposed to be safe
You know what to do to put down my walls
And make me feel so small.

~chorus:
I feel like you're Germany
And this house declared World War II
Talk about how England is mean and unfair
But that's not the whole truth.
So you can tell them you didn't mean it
But I noticed the smoke
Maybe right now you don't see it
But I'm no longer alone.

I hear the judgement of a thousand men
But it all comes from you
You know you left me no choice but stay
'Cause there's no place I can flee to.

And I hear the noise downstairs
Silently hoping you'll stay there
An act of mad is not an act of brave
But maybe I'm going insane.

~chorus:
I feel like you're Germany
And this house declared World War II
Talk about how England is mean and unfair
But that's not the whole truth.
So you can tell them you didn't mean it
But I noticed the smoke
Maybe right now you don't see it
But I'm no longer alone.

~bridge:
So now I'll grab my sword
Because I can never have a gun
You will always have more
And know more, and be more
But maybe I'll burn
I'll get some matches and burn it all
I'll scream everything I want
And then I'll leave
'Cause there will be no option but run.

~chorus:
I feel like you're Germany
And this house declared World War II
Talk about how England is mean and unfair
But that's not the whole truth.
So you can tell them that you cared
But I noticed the smoke
You can tell them that I'm a mess
'Cause it's true.
But so are you.

Replay

I said something that didn't make sense
But you laughed anyway
And that's how it starts.

Suddenly there was a smile
A little spark in your curious eyes
And I thought "This could be something, you know..."

That's how it goes...

~chorus:
You held my hand and you held my breath
I thought "Oh, no, not a panic attack"
Then you got lost in your words trying to make a point
Then kissed me
Like it should be.

We sat around the boundfire and sang a song
Pretending to know lyrics we'd never heard
I said goodnight, or maybe you did
I watched you all the way to my dreams.

~chorus:
When I saw you again you were still there
The light in your eyes seemed too bright to just pass
Then I got lost in my words trying to make a point
And you kissed me
Like it should be.

~bridge:
But suddenly the colours changed
We were hurt and sad and I couldn't say
Whatever I was thinking 'cause I didn't know
But if that's so...
Why did I keep replaying those days in my head?
Sppining them around like a bottle in Truth Or Dare
I chose my truth and walked away
Never really gave you a final say.

~chorus:
I watched you stare from across the room
Like a bad end of a movie that was supposed to be good
Then I got lost in my acts trying to find the facts
And I walked to you
I sat by you.

You said something that didn't make sense
And I kissed you again.
That's how it ends.

What Writers Do

I go
Away
You don't know
Which apologize to say
This time

We kiss
One last time
I wish to say
I followed your eyes
Back to me
But that's a lie
'Cause I left
And you let me.

Green on brown
No sound
No birds, no rain
No rainbow, no /pause/ pain.

~chorus:
If I took the last plane
You wouldn't stop me
But I'll pretend you would.
Pretend that if we had a final say
It wouldn't be just "sorry"
'Cause that's what writers do.

If writing is creating a dot
Why am I stuck with semicolons?
Paragraphs that are getting too long
Sentences that should end but they won't.

I get that you won't call
I'm not even sure if I want that
But I don't like spending time
In stories that get me nowhere.

~chorus:
If we danced for hours
Although we can't dance
I'd pretend we could.
Pretend that if I were in a tower
And you had to save me, you would
'Cause that's what writers do.
I know, I know, I know
That's what writers do.

~bridge:
I can't resist
I have to find a point to it all
You cannot be
A side effect or bad call
Secondary characters
That no one really saw
Just bricks on a wall.
Bricks on a wall.

~outro:
And if I was told to write a song
I'd make it somehow heroic
'Cause that's what lovers do
But I am not a lover
And writing is not about lying
But I'll keep on creating answers
For questions I never asked
'Cause that's what I do.
Maybe Shakespeare did it as well
But this is not his story to tell.

? (Question Mark)

It all began with one word
Can't remember which one it was
But that's not a big deal
Is it?

'Cause you can't give me a reason to stay
But you can't watch me walk away
I've got a 100 reasons to run
Still I return.

~chorus:
Is he cruel or is he honest?
How can days be erased by a moment?
A big mistake or a huge revelation
I don't wanna cave in to intense frustration
'Cause you apologized looking into my eyes
Just tell me, am I falling for a lie?

I watched you from across the room
I think it's killing you too
But how can I trust myself
When I was so wrong about you?

You talk about brats but you're clearly one
With the damn green eyes I could stare at for a month
Are you sad you missed a shot
Or you just sorry you got caught?

~chorus:
Is he cruel or is he honest?
How can days be erased by a moment?
A big mistake or a huge revelation
I don't wanna cave in to intense frustration
'Cause you apologized looking into my eyes
Just tell me, am I falling for a lie?

~bridge:
I trust no one, I run from everyone
But I stayed for you
I can't make myself say it's over
But screw you, freaking Marx lover.

~chorus:
Is he cruel or is he honest?
How can days be erased by a moment?
A big mistake or a huge revelation
I don't wanna cave in to intense frustration
'Cause you apologized looking into my eyes
Just tell me, are we all pretenders in disguise?

Free Speech Is Useless If You Have Nothing To Say

You should know I'm not a hater
But I understand it may sound that way
For people who never stood up for nothing
It's not wrong to have something to say.
It's actually the best thing you can do.

So, I'm not singing about California
Or how I'm gonna dance because I'm single, oh yeah
I don't think anyone has ever showed ya
But there's life beyond booze and sex.

~chorus:
No, we don't need another song about beer
And "I don't know how this tattoo got here"
We know your folks wanna send you to university
But you're too high on the pocket money
We don't need songs to party
Because that's not what music is made for
So, c'mon, everybody
Loud music is supposed to be good.

We don't need another fake boyband
With pretty hair and nothing to say
We need someone who'll scream the truth
Like everyday is fucking Election Day.

So I'm sorry if you can't dance to my song
But it was never really meant for you, kid
Because once upon a time songs had this thing called words
And people actually cared about it.

So, yeah, I don't care about the sick beats
Or people who pretend to sing
I listen to them on TV
I feel I'm in freaking Discovery Kids.

~chorus:
No, we don't need another song about beer
And "I don't know how this tattoo got here"
We know your folks wanna send you to university
But you're too high on the pocket money
We don't need songs to party
Because that's not what music is made for
So, c'mon, everybody
Loud music is supposed to be good.

~bridge:
You have a brain that's fucking brilliant
I don't care what the school said
You're allowed to more than think, man
Also dream and create.
'Cause you can.
You're not a brick, you're a little piece
Of something much bigger than that
And your absence will be missed
Can you do something about that?
~chorus:
No, we don't need another song about beer
And "I don't know how this tattoo got here"
We know your folks wanna send you to university
But you're too high on the pocket money
We don't need songs to party
Because that's not what music is made for
So, c'mon, everybody
Loud music is supposed to be good.

~outro:
This thing I talk about is called freedom
You think you know the meaning
'Cause you memorized it at a school test, but you didn't really comprehend it.
You think you know freedom
But you don't.
It's not breaking the law, it's not saying what you want.
It's being able to say something worth it.
It's being able to stand up alone.

Still The Truth

I watched you for about ten minutes nonstop
Somehow found a memory from deep inside of my heart
Buried so hard where I knew I'd never remember
But oblivion only lasts till the day you surrender
And that day always comes.

~pre-chorus:
And the way you bite your tongue
Kinda reminds me of my own
Wetting your own lips
Too anxious to blink...~

~chorus:
I found you deep inside in me
You're always there, I can't make you leave
But do I really want you to?
If you ever find your way back home
Through mud roads and country songs
Will our past still be the truth?
Oh, are we still the truth?~

I see a part of you in every guy I meet
Every screwed up Nike, every faded jeans
Everytime they sing a good song out of tune
Standing up straight like they're the ones who rule
Yeah, we're the ones who rule...

~chorus:
And your attempts to see the bright side
Are just as worthless as mine
Dancing for no good reason, I saw
Although we can't dance at all...

~chorus:
I found you deep inside in me
You're always there, I can't make you leave
But do I really want you to?
If you ever find your way back home
Through mud roads and country songs
Will our past still be the truth?
Oh, are we still the truth?

And am I there though you ain't here?
Will you sit with me and maybe drink some tea
Would you really want to?
We'd fake a british accent and propose a toast
Fearing the moment we'd have to go home
Could this song still be the truth?
Oh, are we still the truth?~

~bridge:
I thought and thought again, every route, every plan
That would take me back to you
But do I want to?
I've played and replayed every single conversation, every act of frustration
Everytime we screamed in that parking lot
And your mother lost it
'Cause she thought I was bad news
But, well, so are you.

~chorus:
I found you deep inside in me
You're always there, I can't make you leave
But do I really want you to?
If you ever find your way back home
Through mud roads and country songs
Will our past still be the truth?
Oh, I hope we're still the truth.

I Can't Do The One Two Step (Hipster Song)

I'm a hopeless romantic
Who's afraid to commit
Addicted to classic
But afraid of a routine
Don't ask me to just sit
And wait
'Cause my anxiety commands
Every inch of my mind
Every inch of my soul

~chorus:
I can't do the one two step
Without stepping on your feet
And I hope that will make you laugh
'Cause I only joke about the wrong things
So don't ask about my luck necklace
Or how I can't notice a glance
I don't really have all the answers
But dude, I can't dance.

And thinking about the white fence
Two kids and a dog
Makes me wanna sit all day
Alone and watch a bunch of sitcoms.

I'm not really into heels
I'd make you carry them
As I run around barefeet
Like it's the last class of the last day
And everyone is carrying their stuff
And you know you've had enough
I'd go all High School Musical
Hoping you would sing along.

~chorus:
I can't do the one two step
Without stepping on your feet
And I hope that will make you laugh
'Cause I only joke about the wrong things
So don't ask about my luck necklace
Or how I can't notice a glance
I don't really have all the answers
But dude, I can't dance.

~bridge:
I'll quote my favorite poet when I have nothing else to say
And I'll ask about politic science, and you better make some sense
I'll never say I need you but I'll let you hold me tight
You'll know I really love you if I admit to you I have cried.
So take a chance
Don't look back, 'cause that's never the right way
Maybe it's the easier, but whoelse would sit for an hour or so
And write you a hipster song?

~chorus:
I can't do the one two step
Without stepping on your feet
And I hope that will make you laugh
'Cause I only joke about the wrong things
So don't ask about my luck necklace
Or how I can't notice a glance
I don't really have all the answers
But dude, I can't dance.

That Jul(l)y Night

It's a cold night of July
My head's pressed against your chest
Told you I was cold so you held me tight
I notice your heart always beats fast.

If I look up I see the stars
For the first time in seven days
The fireplace burns aside
I close my eyes and peacefully pray.

~chorus:
It's the last night, it's the last night
I won't have another chance for a very long time
So I look around and I try to memorize
Everybody's faces, everybody's smiles.

Suddenly the sun comes up
Your breathing is quite loud
It's sorta weird 'cause I can't keep up
Still I can't hear another sound.

~chorus:
It's the last night, it's the last night
I won't have another chance for a very long time
So I look around and I try to memorize
Everybody's faces, everybody's smiles.

I will remember every starless night
But the one with the Crux will be the most important one
I just wanna tell you, don't worry about that night
You told her everything the next morning
And damn it, it was good.

Montreal

i'll understand If you run away now
you know you could
seriously, i'll get if you run to montreal
you know you shoulD
you should.

i hear it's a beautifuL place
with southern pretty girls that won't step on your foot while you dance
it's cold so you can cook her dinner in bed
then cuddle In
till the morning next...

~chorus:
maybe if i didn't maKe everything a joke
the joke wouldn't bE on me
maybe if i could just give you a honest response
it wouldn't be awkward, and you see
i am usually the first one to shut the door
then hide above the attic
with my frozen meal that Tastes like plastic.

and you and the blonde southern girl could hold Hands
and her hand wouldn't be sweaty and she wouldn't complain
All the time about the weather or her shoes
she wouldn'T make you hold them
as she walks barefoot.

~chorus:
maybe if I Didn't make everything a joke
the joke wouldn't be on me
maybe if I could just give you a honest response
it wouldN't be awkward, aNd you see
i am usually thE fiRst one to shut the door
then hide above the attic
with my frozen meal that tastes like plastic.

~bridge:
but it would be pRetty nice if you stayed
if you made a joke, played my stupid game
you should just know that It wasn't an out
it wasn't an out
it wasn't an out...
so please don't Get all weird 'cause tHere's no room for Two
or maybe we could be one of those crazy couples on the road
but theN that would suck
'cause i hate the silence
and yOu hate the noise.

~chorus:
maybe if I didn't make everything a joke
the joke Wouldn't be on me
maybe if i could just give you a honest response
it wouldn't be awkward, and you see
i am usually the first one to shut the door
then hide above the attic
with my frozen meal that tastes like plastic.

~outro:
fuck it, you're right
that is not proper rice.

Taylor's Song (My song for Taylor Swift)

I watched your curls become bangs
I watched blue become red
I watched you smile winning your first Grammy
The smile didn't change when you won your seventh...

You made me strong
To try the guitar
And that story of love
Was because of your rhymes
You taught me I just had to practice and try
Otherwise, how could I ever get it right?

~chorus:
If I could write you a song
It doesn't even have to be about love
It could be about Grey's Anatomy, the sun or even ducks
I swear I'd be the happiest girl in the world.

I'd never gone with the wind
But now it's all sweeter than fiction
I feel like you'd get how I write thirty songs
For people who really didn't deserve none.

People haven't always been there for me
But you were there every day
For the last eight years
And since them our family has grown a lot
Part of it is actually my fault.

~chorus:
If I could write you a song
It doesn't even have to be about love
It could be about Grey's Anatomy, the sun or even ducks
I swear I'd be the happiest girl in the world.

~bridge:
And if I could see you with your guitar
With a piece of paper, trying to find a rhyme
Or a chord, or a tone
If I could just be a part of such miracle
I'd just keep it to myself
'Cause some memories are
Too precious to tell.

~chorus:
If I could help you write a song
It doesn't even have to be about love
It could be about whatever you want
I swear I'd be the happiest girl in the world.
If I could get just half an hour
And a guitar
No matter where
No matter what
It'd be
The happiest day of my life.

Caneta permanente

Nomes são divertidos, até que se tornam um problema. Aí você nomeia seus personagens com nomes de uma lista de "Nomes descolados para o seu bebê". Quando junta um nome legal, é o nome de algum jogador de sei lá o quê, político ou ator. E então você tem que mudar.
Você tenta colocar um traço forte na personagem, como um violão, ou um diário, e as pessoas dizem que você está copiando alguma pessoa de quem você nunca sequer ouviu falar.
Em algum momento, todos os seus personagens parecem iguais. Todos eles são nuances de você. O herói é completamente detestável, e todo mundo torce por um personagem secundário a quem você não ia dar destaque nenhum.
Leitores estão sempre na TPM. Eles se irritam quando você não aceita a sugestão deles, quando ferra algum personagem ou (PRINCIPALMENTE) algum relacionamento. Aprender a ignorar seus leitores metade das vezes é um passo importante para estar preparado para essa vida.
Escrever é solitário. Ninguém vai poder te ajudar a encontrar a palavra que você perdeu, ou a ideia principal que logo se esvai.
A história nunca termina do mesmo jeito que começou. Ou ela cresce. Ou você perde totalmente a linha e cria uma coisa totalmente sem sentido.
Você vai criar muitas Mary Sues. Relaxe. Com o tempo melhora (ou não. Policie-se). Romances (o tipo de texto, não o assunto... mas o assunto também) não são feitos de um personagem só.
Nem todo mundo vai entender o que você quer dizer. Elas vão gostar da história, mas não vão ENTENDER de verdade. O cachimbo será sempre um cachimbo. O que é pior do que se elas não tivessem gostado. Mesmo algo que você desgosta pode trazer uma mensagem que vai te perseguir. Mas algo que você não entende apenas desaparece.
E junto com a história vai o autor. Nada ilustra "o capitão afunda com o navio" melhor do que isso, apesar de que o navio geralmente vive bem mais do que o capitão. É o nosso legado. Esperamos que o apreciem. Queremos que a obra fale por nós. Que ela se torne maior do que nós. Porque esse é o ponto chave da escrita: ela é e sempre será maior do que você.
Não trate seus leitores como leigos. Se algo, os superestime. Pense que todos eles estão no mesmo nível cultural que você. Não crie um milhão de notas de página, e parênteses, e parágrafos explicativos. Cite Atenas. Não cite Atenas, capital da Grécia, país localizado na península balcânica no sudeste do continente europeu, blá blá blá.
Como eu, que usei a metáfora do cachimbo ali em cima assumindo que você a conhece. Se você não a conhece, sequer notou. Se a conhece, também foi natural.
Por isso dizem que duas pessoas nunca leram o mesmo livro. Meu professor diz que há dois níveis de leitura: a leitura explícita e a implícita. É como assistir Harry Potter 6 pela primeira vez sem nunca ter lido o livro. Se você assistir uma segunda vez, fará bem mais sentido. Você perceberá coisas que não notou antes.
Seja surpreendente, não necessariamente sendo pedante. Não necessariamente Machado de Assis, cuja versão mais atual de Memórias Póstumas precisa de em média seis notas de página por página para que você possa entender o enredo em si. Mas mesmo assim eles ainda deixaram um pouco da escrita arcaica, como "cousa" e "dous", o que eu acho adorável.
Se você não é escritor, vai apenas passar por esse texto.
Mas se você é, e com isso quero dizer que escreveram com caneta permanente na sua alma, e não que você escreve poemas depressivos sobre nada quando está entediado, se você é, então sabe do que estou falando. É uma rota longa e árdua com muitos retornos que levam de volta à mesma estrada.
Porque, bem, pense comigo: caneta permanente na alma não parece algo fácil de se apagar ou ignorar.

Controle-se

Eu quero escrever isto, mas eu não quero.
É, acho que isso resume tudo.
Eu prendia a respiração. Aquele momento em que seu ar vai se esvairindo parece infinito. É como se você segurasse o mundo inteiro por um minuto. Um minuto infinito que logo acaba.
Uma coisa eu aprendi enquanto crescia: você não chora quando prende a respiração. Você chora quando a solta.
Quando eu soltei, algo escapou. Um soluço, uma tosse, não tenho certeza. O caso é que eu estava sozinha em uma sala lotada. E não choro em salas lotadas. Não choro, ponto. Eu até quis, talvez assim parasse de soluços patéticos e divagações.
Você pode dizer muito sobre uma pessoa por qual cena de A Culpa é das Estrelas a afetou mais. É o tipo de coisa que eu perguntaria a alguém, muito mais relevante do que um nome ou uma cor favorita.
A pessoa provavelmente não responderia. Compreendo. Eu também não responderia. Principalmente porque a cena que me afetou mais não foi o fim, como a maioria das pessoas. Nem o funeral. Nem a morte dele.
Não, na verdade, foi logo após. A visita de Peter Van Houten. Quando o nome dele surgiu, eu desabei, e isso é realmente tudo o que me lembro sobre aquela cena. Uma parte de mim sabia que aquilo seria grande. Uma parte de mim segurava uma raiva tão passiva, gradativamente comprimida pela centelha de esperança.
Então... É. Minha face estava bem vermelha. Não sou médica nem nada, mas sei que era psicológico.
Então me desculpe se eu fiz piadas demais, ou se repeti a mesma coisa mil vezes, ou se chorei baixinho no carro durante vinte segundos e nem deu para notar, não sou um exemplo. E só de pensar em pessoas que me consideram um tenho vontade de prender a respiração.
Certo, não era aqui que eu esperava chegar quando comecei a escrever. O que me leva a outro ponto: é por isso que todos os meus heróis têm capas. Dizem que todos os heróis são humanos, mas essa é apenas outra maneira de dizer que nenhum é. Admiramos o equívoco que criamos sobre uma pessoa. E quando não conseguimos nos afastar desse equívoco, criamos um herói. As pessoas foram feitas para serem amadas, não adoradas. Elas foram feitas para se sentirem seguras, não para terem chorofobia ou a porra que seja. Elas foram feitas para lidar com seus traumas, e não os esconder. E não se esconder.
Elas foram feitas para se sentirem especiais, e não horrivelmente ordinárias. Dizem que a pior sensação é perceber que você é uma pessoa ruim. É mentira. A pior sensação é perceber que você não é absolutamente nada.
Que a professora não consegue decorar seu nome, que daqui a dez anos alguém vai olhar para sua antiga foto do colégio e você vai ser o rosto desconhecido. E o pior de tudo é saber que você não é nem um pouco ordinário. Saber que você tem algo a oferecer.
E não fazer ideia de como.

Time Bomb

I never thought I’d miss the times
When I knew I shouldn’t put my hopes too high
Cause now things have changed
I’m stuck in a hurricane
I can’t control.

And if you see me smiling
Deep inside I’m trying hard not to cry
And when you see me crying
Don’t ask me the reason, I just don’t know why.

~chorus:
Maybe I’m just a time bomb
Meant to explode
A trainwreck of feelings
I cannot control
So, please, don’t approach too much
Don’t try to find gold in the dirt
Cause I’m just a time bomb
Tick tock, tick tock.

And you might be attracted by the danger
As drivers stop and stare at a car crash
Small steps, don't pretend
That I can't blow up if you don't take care.

And I may seem fine for a little while
And you might think it's not a lost cause
But I'll deal with it on my own, when I want
And you can go, go, go...

~chorus:
Maybe I’m just a time bomb
Meant to explode
A trainwreck of feelings
I cannot control
So, please, don’t approach too much
Don’t try to find gold in the dirt
Cause I’m just a time bomb
Tick tock, tick tock.

~bridge:
Keep on going till you're gone
I'll keep on trying till I explode
'Cause something good may come from here
I have this feeling I cannot ignore
That something big is about to become more
And there I am, and I look around
I can't decide if I'll save the world
Or burn it to the ground.

~chorus:
Maybe I’m just a time bomb
Meant to explode
A trainwreck of feelings
I cannot control
So, please, don’t approach too much
Don’t try to find gold in the dirt
Cause I’m just a time bomb
Tick tock, tick tock.

Escrever é uma jornada

Escrever é uma jornada.
Tem subidas, tem descidas, tem curvas, tem buracos nos quais você vai ficar preso. Tem coisas boas, tem coisas ruins. Tem recompensas, tem sacrifícios.
Escrever é uma jornada.
Não deveria ser fácil.
Não deveria ser uma caminhada no país das maravilhas.
Deveria doer. Deveria esgotar cada resquício da sua alma.
Deveria te lembrar que você ainda tem uma alma a perder.

Deveria te deixar louco, te fazer questionar cada conceito em que você já acreditou.
Deveria te fazer amar a desesperança.
Você deveria escrever muito. E muito mal. E a cada texto medíocre, reconhecer sua própria fixação pelo holofote.
Deveria tornar sua vida uma máquina, movida apenas pelo desejo incontrolável de conseguir ter seu nome impresso naquela maldita capa de papel que vai viver bem mais do que você.
As pessoas não vão ligar. Elas vão rir. Elas não vão entender.
Suas olheiras vão aumentar. Você vai sofrer de insônia. Constantemente.
Mas não é insônia se você não quiser dormir.
Você não vai conseguir se concentrar em mais nada quando uma ideia vier. Você vai escrevê-la no caderno da escola, ou na sua mão, ou no papel higiênico do avião. E só assim sua alma descansará.
Você vai se perder. Você vai questionar o que é real e o que é fruto da sua imaginação. Você vai imergir num mundo imaginário quando a vida real se tornar trágica demais.
Você vai achar que enlouqueceu. Constantemente. Quando tiver certeza, é porque está fazendo isso certo.
As palavras vão torturar você. Elas não vão vir, ou vão vir na hora errada. Você vai aprender a domá-las, eventualmente, depois de apanhar muito.
E você vai continuar escrevendo mesmo assim, pois sabe que a alternativa te levará à depressão. A alternativa te deixará miserável.
Então não seja como todos aqueles que se dizem escritores. Não dependa da opinião dos outros, não escreva pelos holofotes. Melhore porque você sabe que pode fazer melhor. A única pessoa a superar é você mesmo. Escreva algo que satisfaça você. Não se desanime porque as pessoas não entendem a magnitude do que você está fazendo. Faça-as entender. E como? Continue a escrever.
Não seja como todos aqueles inseguros, metódicos, medianos e maleáveis que se dizem escritores. Eles não estão preparados.
E a verdade, a que ninguém quer realmente enfrentar, é que a maioria das pessoas não está.

Meanness In Disguise

she should be the one who holds You far frOm all the meanness
the one who says "i love yoU, deaR", instEad of just leaving
i can't remember a Time she ever made me feel better
sHe takEs my self-esteem and then shatters it.

~pre-chorus:
so I tell myself every kind word i'll never hear
i hold myself in a warm hug i'll never receive
as her loud judgement eChoes across the pLace
i'm sUpposEd to calL my homE...

~chorus:
i feel So Small
a clueless fucked up kid
like a pOw
with tears that doN't mEan a thing
and mean it all...
and there you are, everytime
hiding behind the lack of lies
your meanness in disguise.

no one's there to say "i told you so"
when again you leave me miserable and cold
i just wish i could ask for your advice
without you turning it against me with the little judgy eyes

~pre-chorus:
so I tell myself every kind word i'll never hear
i hold myself in a warm hug i'll never receive
as her loud judgement echoes across the place
i'm supposed to call my home...

~chorus:
i feel so small
a clueless fucked up kid
like a pow
with tears that don't mean a thing
and mean it all...
and there you are, everytime
hiding behind the lack of lies
your meanness in disguise.

~bridge:
run, run from your sins
ignore the eight-year-old with broken wings
in the next room, you pretend you don't know why
she's crying for about an hour now
Make your case about how you lost fourteen years fOr Me
but i never asked to be here

~pre-chorus:
so I tell myself every kind word i'll never hear
i hold myself in a warm hug i'll never receive
as her loud judgement echoes across the place
i'm supposed to call my home...

~chorus:
i feel so small
a clueless fucked up kid
like a pow
with tears that don't mean a thing
and mean it all...
and there you are, everytime
hiding behind the lack of lies
your meanness in disguise.
it scares me how much shit people hide in one smile
hope you'll get it right
keeping your meanness in disguise.

Nothing Would Break Your Heart

I was having a very nice month
Convincing myself I hate you so much
And that I don't need you...
Wanna know a secret?
I don't need you.

But then you come with your stupid text
Saying something nice and then breaking me so bad
And I don't think you even realize it
I don't think you know what it's like...

~chorus:
With your duplicity, your sad eyes
The ugly truth, the dreadful lies
The good boy you think you are
So pretty, and nice, and smart
And now you come and say to me
How someone left you when you were in need
You said nothing would
break your heart
You've broken mine a thousand times now.

And all those pretty love songs
You've turned them into shallow shit
'Cause you don't know
You have no idea of what they mean.

Those three words were hard to come out
But it gets harder when the "don't" shows up
And even though I know bad news have no good time
It stroke me that you just don't care enough to worry.

~chorus~

~bridge:
So, what did you want?
A big declaration, instead of just frustration
Marriage, kids and the white fence
That sounds like the bars of a jail to me
And the "good morning" texts
To act like you care
And when things get bad
We all know you don't give a crap.

~chorus~

Gold Rush

I woke up at seven
Waited until something was on
Sleeping would feel like Heaven
But the insomnia told me to write a song.

~pre-chorus:
Oh, we're so worried
About every pointless thing
Striking each other's bones
Acting in our own means...

~chorus:
And I sit here
Waiting on the gold rush
I'm locked in
Can never get enough of it
Oh, I'm waiting on the gold rush...

And they told me
To breathe easily
'Cause it's going down
I can't save them now

But they don't get it
They cannot understand
What it's like to
Stand alone and pretend
Everything is ok...

~pre-chorus~
~chorus~

~bridge:
What is wrong with you, people?
With your beliefs and fake smiles
A new dream every season
But they get dragged away like Autumn leaves
You get a new car and tell them all
But that won't fix your character flaws
And maybe then, if no one sees
The problem will get dragged away by the wind.

I Can't Make You Love Me

I can't make you love me
If you don't.
I can't ask you to stay
If you won't.
All this time I've been
Running from my sins
But I can't make you love me
If you don't.

~chorus:
"I can't make you love me
If you don't"
The song keeps going
On and on and on
I wish it would stop
'Cause the words keep falling off
This tristful goodbye song.

I wanted to have someone
Well, so did everyone.
Someone to tell me it's gonna be okay
Someone sick of just pretend
But, well, what's the big deal in dying all alone?
I can't make you love me
If you don't.

~chorus:
The song keeps going
On and on and on
I wish it would stop
'Cause the words keep falling off
This tristful goodbye song.

~bridge:
And if you ever miss me
Somewhere along the way
You were the one who
Just threw it all away
We keep acting the same every single time
You say you don't like my honesty
But to be fair, I don't like your lies.

~chorus:
"I can't make you love me
If you don't"
The song keeps going
On and on and on
I wish it would stop
'Cause the words keep falling off
This tristful goodbye song.

~outro:
I can't make you stay if you don't want
To...

Escrever de verdade

Eu observava aquela folha cheia com desgosto de mim mesma. A primeira frase já estava errada. “Racismo é...”. Impessoal, em um assunto tão relevante. Um texto cheio de estatísticas e palavras elaboradas que pareciam parágrafo decorado do Wikipedia. Meu maior medo se tornara realidade na minha frente: um texto sem alma. Eu continuava a escrever, na esperança de que algo ali se tornasse relevante. Logo eu tinha vinte linhas de absolutamente nada. Nada naquele texto revelava qualquer traço de personalidade. Não era um texto errado, decerto era consideravelmente informativo, mas não tinha nada de especial. Era o tipo de texto que qualquer um esqueceria cinco minutos após ler, e eu provavelmente teria esquecido também, se não tivesse me incomodado tanto.
Tenho medo de não conseguir mais escrever. Digo, escrever de verdade. Do fundo do coração, ou da alma, ou de onde quer que as coisas profundas fiquem. Acho que todo mundo tem aquela mania, aquele transtorno obsessivo. Escrever é a minha sanidade. Eu não sei como diabos escrever um desabafo sobre um texto maior do que o texto em si no meio da aula de Química pode me ajudar a não enlouquecer, mas é assim que as coisas são. Acho que coloco pressão demais em mim mesma quando escrevo, então, quando o texto se revela um grande pedaço de merda, isso me atinge mais do que deveria. Eu queria escrever sobre um amor épico, do tipo que as pessoas passam a vida sonhando ter, mas nunca vivi um amor desse tipo, ou de qualquer tipo que valha a pena, na verdade. Portanto, não escrevo, pois acabaria sendo o tipo de texto saído da sua bunda, e ninguém gosta do tipo de texto saído da sua bunda. De qualquer forma, não é isso que quero atingir aqui.
É claro que não ajudou em nada quando o professor leu o texto e disse, com um sorriso sincero:
— Ficou ótimo, Gaby!

“Se você está perdendo sua alma e sabe disso, então você ainda tem uma alma a perder” — Charles Bukowski

Aquele momento

Você já olhou para alguém e pensou "Eu realmente amo você"? A pessoa pode estar falando, ou murmurando, ouvindo música e cantando baixinho junto, assistindo TV, sorrindo... Vocês podem estar dançando por tempo demais, ou você pode estar ouvindo-a contar uma história da qual você não consegue evitar rir. Ela pode ter caído no sono ao seu lado, e você descobre que ela tem o péssimo hábito de se mexer demais e murmurar coisas sem sentido. Tem apenas alguma coisa nela naquele momento que te faz pensar "Eu realmente amo você".
E às vezes você diz isso a ela. Mas não naquele momento. Naquele momento, você guarda para si mesmo, como seu pequeno diamante. Sua pequena descoberta, que esteve lá o tempo todo. É realmente a epifania mais bonita de todas. Não é o tipo de "Eu amo você" que vem seguido de "Merda". É o tipo que te faz sorrir e revirar os olhos, aceitando aquele fato tão facilmente. Não é um fardo, um peso. É um alívio, e também uma promessa silenciosa. Porque, no fundo, isso sempre esteve dentro de você. Mas tem um momento — aquele momento — em que você realmente percebe. E esse é o melhor de todos.

You're The Only One (feat. Matheus)

I just can't believe you left me.
When the winter is almost coming
You leave me with our melody.

You break my heart into pieces and you don't even notice
You leave in the storm and I can't take another moment
Without you by my side.

~pre-chorus:
And it feels like forever
Since I felt we were fine
Back when we were together
And I could fix everything with your smile...

~chorus:
Cause you are the only one to me
The only who can save me from this
You are the only one who knows me, completely
You can make me blush so easily
And even if you think there's just no way of happy ending...
You're the only one to me.

Everybody asks me
If you and me aren't gonna be friends anymore
And all I can say is there's no way because I'm gonna want you more

I try not to think about it
Try to think that I need you no matter what
Their words sound louder
Each time
They keep reminding me you're not mine.

~pre-chorus~
~chorus~

~bridge:
You are my dream
My everything
I can't live without you
So darling don't say goodbye
Just stay by my side for the rest of our lives
I'd rather have hard times with you
Than easy ones with someone else
I want the fighting, the doubting, the painful truth
Just, please, I don't want our hearts to suffer by themselves.

~pre-chorus~
~chorus~

Anônimo

Vi você pelo vidro da livraria. Com isso... Uma prateleira de livros, uma porta, uma avenida, um mendigo jogado na calçada, seu fiel cachorro, três pombas, alguns carros, um café e a falta de assunto entre eu e você.
Observei o jeito que bebericava seu Soy Latte enquanto ouvia música nos fones de ouvido. Tinha cara de quem colocava o nome do cachorro em homenagem a alguma banda de indie rock, provavelmente Arctic Monkeys. A ideia me fez sorrir. Observei como o sol refletia em seu cabelo curto, e em como seus olhos notavam em detalhes o pouco movimento da rua. Imaginei se era um artista. Devia ser, pelo modo apaixonado com que observava algo tão banal. Devia estar descrevendo uma cena para mais tarde, como eu.
Subitamente, seus olhos interessados notaram a livraria. Não sei se me notaram antes ou depois de eu tentar me esconder atrás de uma prateleira e derrubar alguns livros, atraindo o olhar assassino do vendedor. Meu cabelo caiu no rosto quando me abaixei para pegá-los. Quando meu olhar cravou em você de novo, você sorria.

"Se um escritor se apaixonar por você, você jamais morrerá."

Choro Feio

Meu choro não é bonito. Não é suave, elegante, baixo, controlado. Meus olhos incham, minha boca encolhe e eu não consigo respirar direito. É feio, é compulsivo, como o choro de todas as pessoas que não choram frequentemente, por qualquer coisa ou qualquer um.
E não acho que seja privilégio da minha genética ou sei lá. Acho que é psicológico. Acho que segurar as lágrimas e o soluço causa um transtorno mental tão grande que não consigo mais parar de chorar quando começo. Choro facilmente, até de dar risada. De segurar a risada. Qualquer escapatória.
Conheço gente que não chora na frente das pessoas porque seus choros são feios. Acho que eles estão errados. Acho que seus choros são feios porque eles não choram na frente das pessoas.
Não, mais do que isso. Acho que o choro de todo mundo é feio. Acho que o choro feio é a coisa mais rudimentar do ser humano. Porém, assim como os pelos que perdemos na evolução, aprendemos a adaptar nosso choro ao que é conveniente, assim como adaptamos todas as nossas emoções.

A Alma

Então, parece que eles não chegaram aonde esperavam. Ou aonde ela esperava, de qualquer modo. Ele nunca chegou a saber sobre a pinta que ela tem nas costas, que ela nunca descobriu se era de nascença ou não, já que sua mãe trabalhava demais quando ela era pequena para se lembrar, já que seu pai não ajudava em nada. Ele nunca chegou a notar como ela sempre fica com soluço quando tosse, ou como ela arranca pelinhas dos lábios com os dentes sempre que está nervosa. Nunca notou como os olhos dela brilham quando discursa sobre algo que a interessa, o mesmo brilho que sempre aparecia quando ela o via. Nunca notou todos os seus paradoxos, como a facilidade que ela tem de falar em frente a uma plateia, apesar de ser terrível em fazer amigos, ou sua obsessão por Nicholas Sparks, mesmo que ela não aguente ninguém falando sobre os próprios romances melosos. E talvez seja assim que as coisas são, e ela talvez devesse apenas se sentir bem por aquela vez em que ele disse que ela era bonita. Quer dizer, não é como se ela não tivesse apreciado, mas não é o tipo de elogio que fica com você para sempre. A verdade é que tudo o que as pessoas querem ouvir é um comentário sobre o jeito que elas bagunçam o cabelo, mordem o lábio, riem, torcem o nariz. Algo sobre seu jeito de falar, caminhar, pensar. Coisas simples, porém especiais. Apenas o jeito que elas são. Elas só querem saber que alguém vê isso nelas, porque são essas pequenas coisas que importam. Elas são a melhor exemplificação de toda a alma humana.

Monsters

I've been trying to do it right
Didn't take any side
But I wasn't fighting anybody else
It was a war against myself
One I didn't not foresee

~pre-chorus:
Cause now it's dark and I don't know
What am I standing for
Don't know what will I do
I cannot get to you...

~chorus:
I don't wanna run away
Not again
But it's hard to stay
It's driving me mad
I keep being stabbed in the back
I don't wanna fight anymore...
I'm the lost cause.

Dear friend
Writing to you does not feel the same
It's still great
But just not enough
Anymore...

I'm lost in cries
In the emptiness of my own existence
Looking at the sky
Asking for a savior
Cause I can't lose the war
Cannot run away anymore...

~pre-chorus~
~chorus~

~bridge:
And if you hear me
Please, save me
Take me out
Of this loud
Silence
It freaks me out
To think about
"Maybe"s
It's hard to run from monsters
When you've become one.

Rainy Days

When you're stuck and feeling down
And there's no turning back around
Hold on
When you're right but turning left
And hope is all you have
Hold on.

~pre-chorus:
'Cause rainy days sound like forever
When the wind makes your windows crash
But you just gotta hold it all together
The storm above us shall pass.

~chorus:
And people talk, talk, talk
But they're just pointing out your flaws
As you walk, walk, walk
Without getting anywhere at all
And their words sound so loud
They got you like a pow
But when you think you just can't take it
Anymore
It's just a rainy day.

You stumble and the world watches you fall
So you hit it back, burning it to the ground
And as you shout for help
No one gets out of their shells
To make sure you can get up by yourself.

~pre-chorus~
~chorus~

~bridge:
Oh, the sun
It comes up on spring
Didn't you hear me beg?
Where the hell have you been?
It's been a long winter without hope
With no rainbow in the end of the storm
I've been trying to hold it together
But that's tough.

When rainy days sound like forever...

~chorus~

Epifania

Eu estou com medo.
Pronto, falei. Cada osso do meu corpo está tenso, cada nervo está mortificado com essa maldita epifania pela qual todos nós passamos ao crescer. Uma pergunta. Uma pergunta singela que leva a todas as outras dúvidas na vida: "O que diabos eu vou fazer?".
Sempre fui aquela criança que tinha tudo estritamente planejado. Ainda tenho tudo planejado, mas percebo que tomei o caminho mais difícil. No entanto, não acho que exista outro caminho. Não quero desenhar o prédio onde você vai morar, nem fazer o transplante que você vai precisar. Tudo o que eu quero fazer é me trancar no meu quarto por quarenta minutos com um caderno e um violão e compor uma maldita música. Escrever um maldito texto sobre algo que não tenho coragem de dizer em voz alta. Uma coluna num jornal, um musical da Broadway, um livro, uma crônica, uma receita de bolo... Eu quero escrever. Eu quero toda a glória de Fitzgerald e Dickinson, mas também quero apenas manter esse texto para mim mesma.
E talvez essa se torne a maior decepção de minha vida e eu acabe com um emprego que eu odeio em uma cidade que todos dizem odiar, mas nunca têm a coragem de fazer as malas e ir embora. Quero sair daqui sem nada que me refreie. Dinheiro, medo, ignorância, lei, bom senso...  E enquanto esse plano pareça idiota, todos os outros são tão bons quanto.
Então talvez eu esteja adiando minha decisão por mais três anos, porque eu perco o fôlego só de pensar que tenho alguns meses para decidir o resto da minha vida. Sempre fui a criança que está pronta para todas as coisas adultas que são impostas a ela, mas não estou pronta para isto. Não sei se isso me torna imatura ou egocêntrica, mas quero que o mundo pare de girar e me deixe respirar. Isso é tudo o que eu quero. Nada de glória eterna ou paz mundial. Eu só preciso de um minuto sem que o chão onde piso pareça estar prestes a rachar e eu caia num vazio desconhecido que vai me destruir antes que eu possa soltar o ar uma última vez.

My Favorite Daydream

oh, I remember you when that song comes up on the radio
and no one else gets those bands from the days of old
like you do.
i remember you when i see that concert on tV
i find mysElf wondering if
you’re watching it too.

~pre-chorus:
so, yes, you’re on my mind
not in the way i thought you would Be
i know this won’t gEt far
but it doEsn't really Need...

~chorus:
maybe you’re my favorite daydream
when i Think of surreal tHings
and i know that it’s kinda weird
‘cause i don’t cRave you Or anything
i jUst wanna sit down for an hour or so
hear your thoughts about some old Good song
and when tHings start to fall off...
i’ll just wave and watch you go.

and even Though your smile is pretty nice
we both Have got enough trouble now
so, plEase, try not to think about anything else
just sit and tell me what’s the Deal of elvis.

we’ve known Each other for a long time now
you keep Saying words that you know arE not my style
and i don’t get why you always staRe
then raise an eyebrow and whisper “can i help?”.

~pre-chorus:
so, yes, you’re on my mind
not in The way i thought you would be
i know this won’t get far
but it doesn’t really need...

~chorus:
maybe you’re my favorite daydream
when i think of surreal things
and i know that it’s kinda weird
‘cause i don’t crave you or anything
i just wanna sit down for an hour or so
hear your thoughts about some old good song
and when things start to fall off...
i’ll just wave and watch you go.

~bridge:
oh, this should be one of those lyrics
where i just point out how you’re such a dick
but i’ve got tons of those ones now
and they don’t really tell the whole deal about
whatever it is that i’m saying here.

~pre-chorus:
so, yes, you’re on my mind
not in the way i thought you would be
i know this won’t get far
and i won’t let it...

~chorus:
maybe you’re my favorite daydream
when i think of surreal things
and i know that it’s kinda weird
‘cause i don’t crave you or anything
i just wanna sit down for an hour or so
hear your thoughts about some old good song
and when things start to fall off...
i’ll just wave and watch you go.

~outro:
oh, bye, wink, smile,
i’ll sit down again
watch you go away
till you show up unannounced again.

Heartbreaker Wanna Be

It's kinda funny saying stuff to someone who'll never hear it
Kinda makes you feel like you can say anything at all
But there's been kinda a tension and I wonder if you feel it
Wonder if I can count on you at all.

Cause you see, I've been around for some time now
Watching you do what you do
Watching her walls fall down
Didn't really do anything to stop you
But hopefully I won't have to.

~chorus:
You say pretty words, you don't know how that sounds
It is getting worse, promise you'll catch her when she falls
Cause from where I'm standing
You're a heartbreaker wanna be
And I've had more of jerks than I will ever need
So if you're pretending
Just, please, surrender
Of your little game... Cause let me say...
If there's something I learned about heartbreakers wanna be
Is that they always end up crawling back on their knees.

So maybe deep inside you're a nice guy
With something to prove and nothing to lose
Maybe you've been taught that life
Won't hit you back if you don't be kind
Maybe you've been taught that love
Is just a one-way road
Until you realize that everything you thought you had
Don't mean anything at all.

~chorus:
You say pretty words, you don't know how that sounds
It is getting worse, promise you'll catch her when she falls
Cause from where I'm standing
You're a heartbreaker wanna be
And I've had more of jerks than I will ever need
So if you're pretending
Just, please, surrender
Of your little game... Cause let me say...
If there's something I learned about heartbreakers wanna be
Is that they always end up crawling back on their knees.

~bridge:
For the last dance of the ball
Take your mask off
Show her we're not just pows
Unable to determine whom to take a shot for
There's no shame in quitting when you're winning
If you're getting something much bigger
Than you would by pulling the trigger
Right into her open heart
Because you may spend a life building up a wall
But it only takes a glance for it to hopelessly fall.

~chorus:
She hears pretty words, she can't tell what they mean
It's getting worse, maybe she's not as strong as she seems
Cause from where I'm standing
You're a heartbreaker wanna be
And I've had more of jerks than I will ever need
So if you're pretending
Just, please, surrender
Of your little game... Cause let me say...
If there's something I learned about heartbreakers wanna be
Is that not even them know what they actually mean.

Twisted Symphony / Beautiful Melody

He's like the summer wind that blows in my face
But suddenly, he turned into a hurricane
I've been told that he's meant to walk alone
But then he tells me he can't be on his own
Anymore...

~pre-chorus:
And when he goes away, I feel closer to the edge
But when he comes back, I can't even breathe...

~chorus:
And even though we live in our little twisted symphony
It tends to sound like a beautiful melody
When his eyes are landed on me, I know I can do anything
And he says he'll be there to catch me when I fall
But he seems obsessed with the thought of being an outlaw
And when it comes to the final chord, I don't wanna play it
I don't wanna cease a song that ends in tragedy.

He's like the tough winter snow that began with just a subtle breeze
It grabs you by the wrist and you never want to leave
Although you know that you're freezing, your hair's being dragged by the wind, you can't see a thing
You won't come inside. You won't fight.
You just let it fall...

~pre-chorus:
And when he goes away, I feel closer to the edge
But when he comes back, I can't even breathe...

~chorus:
And even though we live in our little twisted symphony
It tends to sound like a beautiful melody
When his eyes are landed on me, I know I can do anything
And he says he'll be there to catch me when I fall
But he seems obsessed with the thought of being an outlaw
And when it comes to the final chord, I don't wanna play it
I don't wanna cease a song that ends in tragedy.

~bridge:
And in case you're wondering, I remember
I remember that day, I remember that day
And in case you're wondering if I wanna surrender
I want to every day, oh every day
And just in case you put your hopes too high
And now you're been dragged down from the sky
Just in case you're wondering if we're just pretenders
I may be falling, but it sure feels like a free flight.

~chorus:
And even though we live in our little twisted symphony
It tends to sound like a beautiful melody
When his eyes are landed on me, I know I can do anything
And he says he'll be there to catch me when I fall
But he seems obsessed with the thought of being an outlaw
And when it comes to the final chord, I don't wanna play it
I don't wanna cease a song that ends in tragedy.

~outro:
He's like the summer wind that blows in my face
But suddenly, I've been dragged into the hurricane.

Pretty Song

I turn on the radio
There's always the pretty girl
With all those pretty songs
About a love that didn't last.

But when I grab my guitar
Where I keep my messy soul
All the things I thought would rhyme
Just don't work at all.

~chorus:
Cause it's not where we've come from
It's where we are now
All the times you made me laugh
All the times you made me so mad.
They come back in flashes
I can't get it out of my chest
And if this is what we'll feel for good
Then I won't write a pretty song.

And I know you're into the pretty country girls
Where I'll never belong
Cause I'm a city chick, I'm a living flame
But I hide in my room with the lights off
So I can watch the moon and slow dance

And all the plans we made
The dream of taking that plane
I don't know what was the mistake
But now it's too late...

~chorus:
Cause it's not where we've come from
It's where we are now
All the times you made me laugh
All the times you made me so mad.
They come back in flashes
I can't get it out of my chest
And if this is what we'll feel for good
Then I won't write a pretty song.

~bridge:
It's not that you don't deserve it, we just got it wrong
I won't sing it like everything will be okay
My head is stuck in all the stuff I thought would save us
But instead just showed me why I couldn't stay.
Cause it's not worth it
I don't deserve it
You can't change me and then walk away
This time you won't have the final say
Cause among it all, there is no "us", no
And our story is not a pretty song.

Raise Your Glass (My 2014 Resolutions)

~intro:
Raise your glass for the ones who loved without second thoughts
For the ones who are happy with what they got and didn't ask for more
Raise your glass for the underdog who didn't lose faith
Raise your glass for the ones who didn't let the thing that held them together
Walk away...

One more year has come and gone away
Sit next to me today
As we write on pieces of paper the things
We couldn't accomplish without His hand
And let's pray it will be better next year.

Let's pray that fear won't hold us back
Let's hope for no other panic attack
Every time we think about changing
Let's embrace it
Next year...

~chorus:
So raise your glass for the hungry
Who got some bread tonight
Raise your glass for the soldier coming home who lost the fight
But didn't lose his life.
Oh, no...
Raise your glass for the passionate teacher who'll change the world
For the new generation of kids who wanna be heard
Here's to the ones who care more about music than clothes
Tonight... Raise your glass for us.

Dare to lose yourself tonight
You may even find a better version of yourself you'll like
One that will make you question what you've lived until now
One that will make you really stand out
No one wants to be just one more face in the crowd.

But you don't gotta look good
You don't gotta wear white
You just gonna be you
And I promise you'll shine
Get out of your shell
Dare to be the best version of yourself
Tonight...

~repeat chorus~

~bridge:
So here's to the air guitar players
That dare to fly with a broom
The ones who'll get to Broadway
But will have the time of their lives fearless dancing around the room
Raise your glass for the things we've done
And for the ones we wish we didn't do
Raise your glass for the proud moms
Raise your glass for me and you.

~repeat chorus~

~outro:
Raise your glass for the lonely
For the ones who don't have someone to hold them when it gets cold
Drop the cup, and I hope your new year's resolution may
Be not letting the one who means everything walk away.